Mahou Shoujo Stella Bellum - and other stories
by Mahina
Summary: Luke Skywalker, old Ben Kenobi, Jedi are magical girls. Plus a few other genre mashups along the way.
1. Chapter 1 - Magical Girls (Part 1)

**Chapter One**

I don't own Star Wars.

* * *

The door chime tinkled as Luke entered the store. The teen was immediately hit by a wave of cool air conditioning. A relief from the baking pavement outside, but also musty and recycled.

Luke inhaled deeply. That - that was the smell of _mystery_.

"Hello Luke!" The shopkeeper greeted. He was a tiny man in his middle fifties, with a back brace and arthritis, but an easy smile for one of his few local customers. Most of his foot traffic being hipsters and yuppies up from L.A. on their way to Mammoth, seeking cheap bargains on small-town heirlooms pawned to pay the bills...or worse, antique hunters out to resell at a higher price on eBay. "Your Uncle know you're in here?"

Luke grinned back. "Yup. He's in a good mood today. Some business up in Independence with the county or something. Aunt Beru talked him into letting me hitch a ride."

Luke lived with his Aunt and Uncle on a farm out in the valley. They grew alfalfa and did some ranching on the side, but it was really Uncle Owen's job with the Inyo County Water Department that kept the farm running. Luke figured his uncle was just too damn stuck on their way of life to fold and sell the farm, but it could also be that there wasn't a buyer. Luke didn't blame anyone. Who in their right mind would move to a dusty desert valley? Luke was hoping to start community college in the fall, but if he had the money he'd be out of here - off to UC Davis like his friend Biggs.

The owner chuckled, warm amber eyes crinkling. "Well, take a look around. Not sure if we've got much interesting in since your last visit, but you know the drill. Special discount today for anyone named Skywalker." He winked.

"Thanks Mister Nebit," Luke said cheerfully. This was why he loved combing through The Sand Crawler the most. Best junk shop on all of Highway 395.

As Luke browsed, his eyes lit on a pair of figurines inside a glass case. They looked like little robots. One was golden, humanoid, his hand resting on a stout blue-and-white domed thingy.

"Why hello there." Luke said, tapping on the glass with a smile. "Aren't you two adorable. Beep boop boop."

The smaller domed figurine let out a high pitched trill.

Luke jumped back, heart racing. He quickly calmed down. Perhaps the toys were motion activated? He must have set it off when he rapped on the glass. Luke moved closer to examine them in more detail.

"Hey Mister Nebit," Luke called, "I'd like to look at the action figures in this case."

"One moment!" The shop owner called back. His light footsteps scuffed on the tatty carpet as he rounded the corner. He came to a stop next to Luke, running a set of keys through his fingers. "Those things?" He asked, peering at the two robots in the display case.

"Yup." Luke confirmed.

"Funny," Mr. Nebit said, as he unlocked the case. "I don't remember picking up any toys like this lately. Maybe my wife though." He gently withdrew the two figurines and passed them to Luke.

Luke took them, one in each hand. They felt warm to the touch and almost...familiar. Like he should know them somehow or had seen them from somewhere. "Any idea what franchise these little guys are from? They look so familiar."

Mr. Nebit shrugged. "No idea. Could be a collector's item worth millions, and I wouldn't know. I suppose that's the kind of thing those eBay guys are always looking for. Think they're gonna be famous on Pawn Stars or something. If I'm any expert though, they look like they were made in the 70's. Maybe one of those Japanese shows. Tonkatsu or whatever."

"Tokusatsu." Luke corrected. "Like Ultraman."

"Never heard of him." Mr. Nebit dismissed.

Luke lifted the blue-and-white domed one closer to his face. "Hello hello hello," Luke said. At Mr. Nebit's curious look, Luke explained. "I think they might have sound effects. I swear that this one whistled and lit up when I touched the glass."

Mr. Nebit examined the display case for smudges. He threw Luke a disapproving look.

"Sorry." Luke said sheepishly.

Mr Nebit sighed. "Tell ya what. Why don't you take those home. If you can figure out what they're worth and fix 'em up, I'll give you a cut if we find a buyer. If no one buys 'em, you can keep 'em. I know how much you like that Japanese stuff."

"You mean Anime," Luke corrected again. "It's not the same as Tokusatsu, though there are some Tokusatsu shows that have animes, and even…" Luke trailed off. "You need to spend more time on the internet, Mr. Nebit."

The shop owner chuckled in fond exasperation. "Probably. But if I did I'd rather figure out how to work Amazon Marketplace and get this stuff shipping online myself. Hells bells it's too confusing."

* * *

"Dolls." Uncle Owen muttered at the dinner table. "I let him wander in that fruity cuckoo shop and of course he buys _dolls_."

Luke rolled his eyes. "They're not dolls Uncle Owen, they're _action figures_."

"Awfully cute for action figures."

"I only got them to see if I can fix them." Luke defended.

Aunt Beru tried to hide her smile behind her hand. "I think they're very cool, Luke. And I'm sure you'll be able to fix them."

Luke smiled. "Thanks Aunt Beru."

Uncle Owen glowered. "The boy is too old to be playing with dolls, is all I'm saying. He's goddamn eighteen. I don't know why I'm paying for him to go to more school. If he's still immature enough to play with dolls, he could spend another year here helping you with the farm, Beru, and _man up_."

"Owen!" Beru exclaimed. Luke slammed his utensils down on the table.

"Excuse me, Aunt, Uncle. I'm done eating now." Luke said as he stood up and stormed from the table.

"No, Luke, come back!" Aunt Beru called after him.

"I'll be in my room! Fixing my dolls!" Luke shouted down the hallway. He stomped up the stairs. He heard Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen arguing downstairs faintly.

"Ungrateful brat!" Uncle Owen said, voice drifting up the stairwell. "Dolls. It's just like something his father would buy."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Aunt Beru countered softly.

Luke slammed his door, blocking them out. Fine already, he got it. He was just like his deadbeat dad. A weirdo. A trucker who knocked up some woman, then got himself killed in a police chase running drugs over the border. When Luke was little he thought that was an exciting story, until the kids at school started calling him names like "druggie kid" and "wormie" - on account of the fact that worms must be eating his father's body of course, wherever it was. Or so Camie the queen bitch said. That was back in Fourth grade. Luke was pretty sure that no one else remembered how the nickname came about, but it had stuck.

"Good lord, I have to get out of here." Luke muttered as he walked to his desk. He pulled out his cheap office chair and slumped, looking over to the two action figures standing under a work lamp next to his toolbox. Luke opened the kit and pulled out a flathead screwdriver. He gave it an experimental twirl. "Maybe I should just enlist. What do guys think?"

"I think that would be highly inadvisable, Master Luke." The golden robot said. "Please put down the weapon, oh! I don't think Artoo and I could survive!"

"Waaaah!" Luke screamed, dropping the screwdriver and scrambling to his feet. He stared at the little golden robot, aghast, as the toy's eyes glowed golden and it tottered to the edge of the desk.

A knock sounded at the bedroom door. "Is everything alright in there, Luke?" Called Beru's muffled voice.

Luke licked his dry lips, and tore his gaze away from the toy robot, which had been examining him in turn, metal head titled curiously. "Yeah, fine. We're all fine in here."

"Well okay," Aunt Beru said doubtfully. "I'm clearing the table. If you get hungry later, leftovers are in the refrigerator."

"Thanks Aunt Beru!" Luke called back. He whipped his eyes back to the desk. "You...you…"

The golden robot shifted. "I say, you seem rather tongue tied- no, not yet Artoo." The taller bot shifted, scolding his shorter companion as it rolled forward to bump into its legs.

Luke groped for his chair, collapsing down in wonder. "What are you two?" He whispered.

The golden robot straightened. "Ah yes, I suppose introductions are in order. Pardon me, that that was _terribly_ rude of us. We shall never be forgiven. Yes, yes Artoo I'm getting to it." He said as the smaller toy beeped and bumped into him again. "No, of course not. Master Luke here saved us so we must be polite.

"I," the taller robot resumed, "am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. And this is my counterpart, R2-D2. You have our _eternal_ gratitude for freeing us from that awful cage. When we became trapped, I simply didn't know what to do. Starve I suppose. I thought we were _doomed_!"

The Artoo robot beeped indignantly.

"Yes Artoo droids can starve, and it was your ridiculous idea that got us into this mess in the first place."

"Um, let me get this straight. Are you guys...are you guys actual robots?"

The gold toy looked affronted. "We are most certainly _not_ robots. We -" the gold droid indicated himself and his dome-headed companion. "Are _Princess Companions_. And well, droids I suppose."

Luke laughed hysterically. He must have broken his fucking mind. "Princess Companions? As in, the cuddly sidekick from some kind of magical girl show?" Luke didn't know, that was just where his brain went first. They did look like sci-fi PreCure knockoffs.

Artoo trilled and Threepio huffed. "No, as in Jedi Princess Companions. I say, Artoo. He doesn't look like he knows about the Jedi. Whatever are we to do now?"

Artoo let out a string of beeps. His wheels lit up with booster rockets and before Luke could react, the little droid zoomed out the open window over Luke's desk, punching a hole in the mesh bug screen.

"Shit!" Luke exclaimed.

"Artoo!" Threepio wailed into the darkening sky. "Don't do that, you know I can't fly!"

Luke snatched Threepio from the desk and ran to the door. He bounded down the stairs and tore out of the house, screen door screeching on its rusty spring as he searched the horizon for the strange creature.

There! Luke spotted a glimmering light in the dusk, sputtering unevenly like a firefly, as it bobbed and weaved its way into the green fields. He leapt from the porch and sprinted. The Inyo mountains glowed like red sentinels in the setting sun, the valley floor already cast in shadow and rapidly cooling. It wasn't smart to go running around the farm in the dark, but too late now.

"Oh my, I don't know what Artoo is thinking." Threepio observed, struggling for a more comfortable grip in Luke's fist. "He can't keep that up for long. I apologize, Master Luke."

Luke looked down at the toy robot - no, droid - in belated suspicion. "How do you…._huff_...know my name, anyway?" He panted between breaths.

The droid blinked up at him innocently, golden orbs like eerie lamps in the fading light. "We overheard it at the shop. Master Luke, where do you think he's going?"

"Looks like...to the creek..._huff_. Don't know…what he'd find there though."

"Hmmm." Threepio sighed. "He keeps going on about the _mission_. You don't suppose Princess Obi-Wan lives in your creek, do you?"

Luke nearly stumbled. "What? _No!_ Why would a Princess live in our creek?"

"Pity. I suppose he's just out of fuel then. Looks like he's setting down."

Luke cursed as the flickering lights descended into the thicket of bramble and out of view. He slowed to an easy jog, then a walk, trying not to get horror film vibes from the long sharp shadows cast by gnarled branches of willow and desert juniper crowding the creek. This was his family's land. He wasn't going to scared like some kind of red shirt. Even if he was literally chasing a U.F.O. right now.

"Hey Artoo!" Luke called. "C'mon little guy. I'm not gonna hurt you!"

A series of trills answered Luke's call, and Luke honed in on a break in the scrub. He got down on his butt and shimmied under a juniper branch, sliding down the embankment. Sure enough, Artoo was there, perched on a granite boulder in the middle of the near-dry creek, hooting and rocking from side to side.

Threepio humphed at whatever Artoo had to say. "Well I could have told you that. You knew you couldn't get far."

Artoo tooted mournfully, blinking blue ' 'eye' swiveling to survey his situation on the boulder.

"Well then why'd you land there?" Threepio asked primly. "I say, serves you right."

Luke couldn't help it. He laughed despite himself. "Are you stuck, little guy?"

The droid bleeped indignantly.

Luke bit down a smirk. "Well if I help you get down from there, do you promise not to run off again?"

Artoo hooted remorsefully. Threepio translated from Luke's fist. "Oh yes, master Luke, he promises!

No more trouble!"

Luke raised an eyebrow, unsure somehow if that was actually what the little droid said, but he hopped across the trickling water and mud to get to the boulder. He picked Artoo up and crossed back. Luke was trying to figure out the best way back up the embankment with a droid in each hand, when a cold chill ran down his spine.

Luke just had time to register the mountain lion, when he slipped in the mud and everything went black.

* * *

"Easy there," said an old but gentle voice as Luke swam back to consciousness. He was greeted by the sight of an old-school kerosene camping lantern, and laughing blue eyes over a snowy but trim beard.

Luke bolted upright. "Ben Kenobi! What the heck are you doing on our land? Uncle Owen's gonna _flip_." It was no secret that Luke's uncle hated the old hermit. The man squatted in an old mining cabin up in the Inyo foothills, near their farm. No one knew what the bad blood between them was, but Luke remembered Uncle Owen chasing off "Crazy Old Ben" with a shotgun once when he was five.

Old Ben rocked back on his heels, and the kerosene lantern retreated from Luke's face. "Well that's a fine way to thank one's savior," he said wryly, British accent crisp, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd rather I left you to the cat."

Luke looked down sheepishly. "Sorry," he said with contrition, "Thanks for saving me."

"You're welcome." Old Ben nodded. His bearing was regal and refined, despite the grubby brown trench coat he wore over patched denim and well-worn leather boots. Metal glinted as the hermit shifted, and Luke could see that unlike a certain stupid farmboy Old Ben didn't wander in the dark unarmed.

The fact that Old Ben the hobo went out armed with a freakin' cavalry saber could be examined later.

A coyote's yipping howl broke the night.

"Now then," Ben continued, glancing up. "We best get out of this ditch. Mountain lions are easily startled, but they could be back. And coyotes come in greater numbers."

Luke had the nagging feeling he was missing something. Right, the droids! Where were the droids? Luke bolted to his feet. He looked around frantically, but saw nothing, not a glimpse of gold or white and blue. Luke fell into confusion. Did he hallucinate the whole thing?

"Okay." Luke agreed reluctantly. He pointed downstream. "I'm pretty sure the bank evens out not too far, about a hundred meters that way."

Ben stroked his beard. He rose, picking up the lantern. "Off we go then, lead the way."

Luke sighed as he started walking, shoes sucking in the mud. "I can't believe there's a mountain lion around, I've got to warn my Uncle. They usually don't come this far down from the hills this time of year. And you never did say what you're doing on our farm."

"I saw lights out on the field, and got worried. Just a feeling." Old Ben said. "Tell me young Luke, what brings _you_ out so far so late?"

Luke measured up Old Ben. If he was going to share this story with anyone, might as well be the county quack. Though some of the more crystal woo-woo art colony-types down in Keeler were apparently convinced the man was an actual wizard. Who else trespassed on the Lars Farm and risked Uncle Owen's shotgun due to some lights and a feeling?

"This is gonna sound crazy," Luke hedged. "But I brought home some action figures from The Sand Crawler today. Mr. Nebit thought they might be collectible, asked me to fix them up. Only they weren't action figures. I think they were aliens."

Old Ben raised an eyebrow, especially pronounced in the kerosene lantern's harsh light. Luke flushed.

"I swear! They started talking and moving, and then one of them busts out of my window on rockets like _whoosh_. I'll bet those are the lights you saw. They kept going on about needing to find some 'Princess Obi-Wan' or Jedi-something."

Old Ben stopped in his tracks, shock written in widened eyes that quickly smoothed back to serene grace, as he picked up his step. "Princess Obi-Wan? They said that?"

Luke looked over curiously, heartbeat quickening. Maybe he wasn't hallucinating after all. "Yeah. You've heard of it?"

Old Ben chucked. "Princess Obi-Wan. Now that is a name I haven't heard in a long time. A long time."

Luke opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a sudden explosion in the direction of the farmhouse. An aurora of colors lit the sky, blocked out by the embankment.

"Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!" Luke cried. He dashed to the edge of the slope and scrambled up on all fours, heedless of the mud and dirt crumbling under his sneakers.

"Luke, wait!" Old Ben cried.

Luke didn't listen. He heaved himself out of the ravine and jumped to his feet. In the distance, over the house, a glimmering crimson glyph rotated in the sky. It looked like a cog or a spoke, sinister and evil. As Luke watched, glittery black shadows dropped from the portal, accompanied by bolts of electric blue lightning and a whistling, droning howl.

Luke barely paused in terror. His aunt and uncle were in the middle of that! He ran back towards the house, trampling the ankle-high alfalfa. He was only one field away when something hard grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him to the ground. Luke tumbled to the dirt, flailing in the alfalfa, as he rolled to break loose. He threw a wild punch at his assailant. "Let me go!"

"Stop it, Luke!" Old Ben grabbed Luke's fist and pinned him with an expert twist. "Be quiet!"

"Let me go!" Luke screamed over the howling wind, flailing. "Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!"

Old Ben shook him. "Luke, it's too late! The Imperium is here. We have to run, now!"

"Noo!" Luke shouted back. "We have to save my aunt and uncle. What is going on!?"

"I can explain, but we have to go now!" As Ben tried to drag Luke away, a white monster in chitin-like insectoid armor reared up from behind a piece of irrigation equipment. Ben drew his cavalry saber. With two slashes, the monster was down. Ben grabbed Luke by the wrist and pulled him away.

"What was that?" Luke cried, stumbling, eyes fixed on the corpse.

"Stormtrooper." Ben shouted grimly. "A foot soldier of the Imperium. Let's go."

"NO!" Luke said again. He planted his heels and shook Ben's hand from his wrist. "We're not leaving without my aunt and uncle!"

Ben scowled at Luke in frustration. He looked between the boy and the house. "Kriff," he muttered, sheathing his sword. "Ben, you old fool, you should have known it would come to this. Luke - do you really want to save your aunt and uncle?"

"Yes!" Luke said desperately.

"Very well!" Ben said grimly. "Call for Artoo and Threepio. I know they must be around here somewhere!"

Luke looked around, but the night was full of nothing but howling winds and lightning. He turned back to shout at Old Ben angrily, when suddenly Artoo and Threepio materialized out of the field.

"Master Luke?" Threepio said questioningly.

"Hello, old friends." Old Ben greeted. A ghost of a smile flitted across his lips, gone between flickers of lighting. "Luke here would like to take the oaths."

Threepio's eyes brightened, and Artoo trilled excitedly. "Oh, Master Luke, that is fantastic news! Congratulations!"

"What!?" Luke said, confused.

Old Ben grabbed him by the elbow, pulling him to the ground. "No time! Just kiss the droid!"

"What!?" Luke exclaimed.

"Just do it!" Old Ben commanded. He pushed Luke forward, and Luke smacked his teeth hard on Artoo's domed shell.

"Well this is highly irregular," Threepio said, "but I suppose it counts. Welcome to the 「Jedi Princess Equis」Master Luke!"

A bright white light overtook Luke, and he knew no more.

* * *

Luke awoke for a second time, bleary-eyed, staring up into a bright blue sky with two suns. He blinked, trying to focus, when he suddenly realized that nothing was wrong with his vision. There were actually _two suns in the sky_.

Luke sat up with a jolt. Sand poured off his body, streaming down his white dress, some of it trickling irritatingly into his cleavage.

White dress. _Cleavage_.

Luke held up his hands. He was wearing snug white ballroom gloves. He looked at his feet. Silver go-go boots over lacy, thigh-high stockings. He twisted and looked down his back. A gauzy silver obi was tied off in a stupid-ass, giant bow.

"Finally awake, I see," said an amused voice to his side. Luke looked over to spot Old Ben, still in his grubby brown trench coat, perched merrily on a pale sun-baked rock.

"Ben…" Luke said shakily. "...what happened?"

Ben drew his cavalry saber. He examined it, buffing the edge, before flicking the flat side towards Luke so the boy could examine his reflection. An unfamiliar face stared back. Rosy cheeks, doe-like eyes. Rich brunette hair pulled into two massive buns and tied off with virginal white ribbons.

Ben smiled. "Why, you've become a Jedi Princess Equis. We're in the Galaxy Far Far Away..._Princess Leia_."

* * *

I should be editing Chapter Nine of Free to Fly, but I'm down with a bad cold and this crackfic called me. You can say it's the product of a literal fever dream.

Anyway. Make this a multi-chapter? Y/N


	2. Chapter 2 - Urban Legend

**"Haunted Moon"**

SW x Urban Legend

* * *

"Are you ready, Papa, are you ready?" Leia asked eagerly, bouncing on her toes.

"Sit down, Leia, so I can fix your hair," Leia's papa said calmly. "And put down those bat ears."

Leia sighed dramatically. She flopped onto the bed, but didn't let go of the fuzzy headband in her tiny fists. Her crinoline petticoats rustled.

Leia was eight - well, _almost_ eight. If 'almost' meant your birthday was next year and still seven months away.

But Leia liked to think she was almost eight anyway, because _almost eight _was old enough to start helping her Papa with mercy missions. That's why this month, Leia was on Jedha at the Alderaanian consulate. The Empire had a mine on the moon, and there was an accident recently. Papa said the mine was hurting a very old Temple. The Empire caused an earthquake, and the mining needed to stop before more people got hurt.

And _that's_ why Leia and her Papa came, to bring bacta and clean water, and other supplies. Having someone like Papa or Leia visit would make sure the news reached the Core, and maybe the mining would stop and the Temple could be saved.

But if Leia were honest, she had something else on her mind this trip. She's been a very good girl, handing out medicine and smiling and giving hugs so people got better. And Papa promised her if she was a good girl, she'd get to go to…

_The festival!_

Every year, Leia had discovered, the Temple held a festival for local people to celebrate Harvest. There were costumes, and people gave out candy. Leia learned ALL about it from the miners and the other volunteers. They even helped her decide on a costume - Leia was going to dress up as a super duper cute lothbat. Nerfherder girl got second place. Leia knew there would be guards following her, and consulate people, but Leia was excited to see the city at night anyway. And maybe, for just a few hours, she'd get to pretend it was just her and Papa, like a normal family.

As Papa brushed out Leia's long brown hair, Leia stared at the sunset outside her balcony and clutched her lothbat headband excitedly.

* * *

"Falling asleep yet?" asked LT-667 as he walked into the system security booth. The trooper slid into his seat, kicked up his heels and tossed his sweaty helmet onto the telemetry display.

LN-451 glanced at his comrade-in-arms, giving the man's dusty boots a side-eye. "That's against regulation. What are you gonna do if an officer walks in?"

LT-667 shrugged. "The officers? Nah. Bet they've all gone native with that festival out there. Though, me? A whole holiday for lost spirits to wander the streets, pretending to be children...seems kriffing creepy to me."

LN-451 snorted. "Jedha's always attracting various cults and freaks. What do a few ghosts matter?"

LT-667 sat up. "Oh ho, don't get me started. You need to get out of the garrison. Take up a street beat. I have _seen_ some shit I tell you. You don't know how good you have it up here. Down there? Bad night to be a stormtrooper on patrol, Harvest."

LN-451 gazed out the plexiglass window, across the base's landing pad and towards the city. It looked quiet enough from a distance. "You're full of bantha piss. If anyone asked me, these locals need to get their priorities straight. I hear the kyber mine is a mess thanks to their superstitious nerfkriff. Output was already down by half, and now the sinkhole. And the Governor is even refusing an edict from the Emperor himself - says there's some kind of _disturbance in the Force_ down there. What rot. It's un-Imperial, it is. The good guv should stop listening to locals before he ends up on the fast track to a firing squad. If you ask me."

LT-667 stared at LN-451. "Well good thing no one asks you, _Georgie."_

LN-451 grimaced. "Don't call me that, we're on duty."

LT-667 rolled his eyes. The security booth fell into silence.

"Still," said LN-451 into the gloom, "Did you hear about Petyr? The man swears he saw-"

A shrill, beeping alert cut LN-451 short. LN-451 glanced at the readout under his comrade's helmet.

"Looks like an Imperial-I class star destroyer just popped into realspace." LN-451 observed. "Wonder who it is."

LT-667 leaned forward to peer up at the space traffic control tower. "Whoever they are, they've sure got traffic control in a tizzy."

Twenty minutes later, they had their answer as a sterile grey Lamda shuttle smoothly touched down and a hulking black figure emerged.

"Ho-ly _kriff." _LN-451 breathed.

* * *

Bail smiled at Leia's excited babbling as he braided his daughter's hair. Moments like this were rare. His baby girl always tried so hard to be a perfect little adult. He wished he could give her a Galaxy in which she could be a child all the time, just like now.

_I will bring back that Galaxy soon, _Bail thought.

A servant discreetly slipped into the room, catching Bail's attention. Bail tucked in a last strand, and with a pat on Leia's inquisitive head, reluctantly got up and stepped to the door.

"Senator." The servant greeted in a low voice. "There has been a development at the mine. Darth Vader is on planet."

Bail's heart skipped a beat. With a quick glance to Leia, he reigned in his thoughts before they could spin too wildly out of control. He shifted his body to block her view of the attendant.

"What is the situation?" He asked quietly. "Are any of our _friends_ in danger?"

The servant shook his head. "Not yet. So far Vader appears to have been dispatched merely to ensure the mine meets quota this month."

Bail's brow furrowed in concern. "That's going to be completely impossible. There's still a high chance of another collapse. Have they even finished any of the necessary safety inspections?"

The servant just gave his Senator and liege a _look_.

Bail clamped a reassuring hand on the servant's shoulder. "We'll do what we can. And I still want to know where all that kyber is going...but now is the time to lie low."

The servant glanced over Bail's shoulder at Leia knowingly. "The Princess?"

Bail nodded. "Please. Ready a shuttle. It seems the local food hasn't agreed with her...you understand."

The man saluted and left the room. Bail turned back to his daughter, who was playing with her petticoats just a little too intently, one ear cocked towards the murmuring adults.

"Precious…" Bail forced a smile. "Change of plans. I know you were looking forward to the festival, but Mama needs you at home right away."

Leia nearly dropped her lothbat headband in worry. "Oh no! Is Mama okay?"

Bail walked forward and knelt to Leia's level. "She's fine, Leia. Mama just misses you, is all. She needs you to go give her a kiss."

Leia narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Papa...are you making up stories again?"

Bail's smile became a little more strained. Curse the Force. It could be terribly inconvenient. "Not at all. Mama just misses you very much."

Leia weighed the truth of his words and let them pass. "Oh. Well, I can call her and give her a kiss."

Bail chuckled. "No can do. She needs an in-person kiss. Right on the cheek."

Leia pressed her tiny lips into a thin line. "But I want to stay here and keep helping the workers. And I want to see the festival."

"I'm sorry, precious, but you can't." Bail said firmly. "You need to go home, now."

"But you promised!" Leia cried, balling her headband into her fists.

Bail stood up. "Sometimes, princesses need to be flexible. Do you understand?"

Leia glowered. "You also say _princes_ shouldn't make promises they can't keep," she muttered rebelliously.

Oof. That stung, but Bail chuckled anyway and ran a hand over his daughter's hair. "That's true. And I really am sorry, precious. Can you forgive me?"

Leia kept staring at the lothbat headpiece in her lap. Bail withdrew his palm.

"I have to go take care of a few things. Pack your bags quickly and be ready to go as soon as I get back."

Leia straightened out her mullish jaw with a sigh. She gave Bail her best, most sunny smile. "Okay papa. I understand."

Bail smiled back. Really, his Leia was an angel. He should be more grateful she was so mature.

Leia dutifully started to pack. Reassured, Bail stepped out to ensure the other, similarly precarious operations behind their relief mission stayed safe and unexposed.

By the time Bail returned, Leia was long gone.

* * *

Leia was _going_ to that festival.

Leia hefted her empty treat bag in determination as she stomped through the streets, lothbat ears bouncing. Papa couldn't just send her away. It wasn't fair. Why was she the only one who had to go home? Didn't Papa want to spend time with her? Didn't she do a good job helping the miners who got hurt? She worked really, really hard.

Papa always said to go out among the people. Well tonight Leia was going to do just that! All on her own!

As Leia walked further into the city center, though, she began to slow down. There were a lot of beings. And everything was so _loud_. She could barely struggle through the gaps in the crowd. Someone clipped her on her shoulder, and Leia spun, stumbling. She barely caught herself on a vendor's cart.

"Woah there! Are you alright?" Gentle hands helped Leia straighten.

Leia looked up. A young woman in a flame-colored robe peered down at her in concern. She looked about fourteen under her hood. Tiny wisps of chestnut curls escaped a scarlet wimple.

_So pretty._ Leia thought, dazed.

"Are you lost?" The older girl asked.

Leia shook her head rapidly. "No," she denied quickly. She didn't want to get sent back to the consulate. She could do this.

The older girl sighed. "I'm relieved. It's rare to see a treat-seeker going around without their parents."

She was right, Leia noticed. All the other kids her age were with their families. Grinning and laughing with their mamas and papas.

Leia bit her lip. "My Papa would have come. But he couldn't. So it's just me."

"And your Papa let you come out alone tonight?"

"Yes." Leia lied definitively. "And I'm completely okay now. But thank you."

The older girl's lips twitched up at the corner. "What's your name?"

Leia hesitated. Should she give out her name? This was a stranger. But it was also another girl…and there was something _nice _about her. But what if Leia was recognized?

"I'm a lothbat," the Princess answered evasively.

"Well little lothbat-who-is-completely-okay," the older girl chuckled, "If you don't have anyone to treat-seek with tonight, why don't you come with me?" The girl held out a hand. Her brown eyes were warm and gentle."I can show you all the best spots."

Leia lit up with a beaming grin. She took the other girl's hand with joy.

* * *

The Governor of Jedha looked just as enthusiastic to be choking on his knees in a pit mine in the middle of the night as Vader thought he'd be. That is to say, not at all. Vader wasn't particularly eager to keep Jedha's kyber quotas on track either, but so duty goes.

"The Governor is indisposed." Vader rumbled as he turned to a terrified foreman, shivering against the chill autumn air. "Explain to me again why you have halted operations?"

"I, err…" The foreman stuttered, tugging at her collar. "The mine is haunted sir. Lord sir."

Vader let up on the Governor long enough for the man to take a gasp, then resumed throttling him. "I see. And did your _consultants _tell you that?" He asked silkily, gesturing with a free hand towards the conspicuously silent pair of monks in the corner.

"Yes?" Squeaked the foreman, uncertain. "I mean yes, they made us do it!"

Vader released the Governor, who slumped to the dust like a puppet with his strings cut. Vader beckoned towards the monks.

"You are Guardians of the Whills?" Vader mused, skeptically. As far as he could tell, both of these men were completely Force-blind.

One of the monks stepped forwards and bowed. "We are. And once, protectors of the Temple of the Kyber."

Vader snorted. "And now you protect your Temple by spreading fairy tales to the weak-minded. How disappointing. Jedha's venerable Guardians reduced to street beggars and charlatans."

The monk smiled wryly. He fingered the frayed cuff of his robe, then shrugged. "This too, might be the Force's will. But the Governor and his friend speak truly - this is not a good time of year to wander the Temple's labyrinth."

Vader said nothing, but pinned the the man with a heavy stare. The sound of his mechanical breath filled the silence.

Unnerved, the Guardian swallowed and hurried to continue. "The Force shifts at this time of year, Darth Vader. Past and present, living and dead...boundaries are not so clear. One could call it a thinning, even. A call from beyond the veil. Dig too deep, and it will drive your miners to madness."

The other monk, still in the shadows, murmured in agreement. "Your miners hear the call. And those on the other side...they hear the kyber screaming."

"Screaming, yes, when the miners dig," nodded the first Guardian. "And yet the Light still whispers secrets of the Living Force. Can't you hear it?"

Vader was five seconds away from killing everyone involved in this farce, and calling the matter resolved. He'd murdered the last masters to lecture him on the Living Force. He was _not_ going to sit through a cachetism now, especially not one delivered by a Force-blind sham.

Vader summoned his lightsaber to his hand, and lit the blade. Crimson light gleamed in his eye pieces.

Alas, Vader did feel it. A small tug, something amiss, a discordant hum.

_Curious_.

Vader turned towards the echo, whispering from a mineshaft plunging into the ruined Temple labyrinth.

Maybe this trip wouldn't be such a waste after all.

* * *

Bail was officially panicking. After a twenty minute search of the consulate, someone finally thought to check the security holos. There she was, his precious princess, climbing over the balcony and scampering down a trellised vine with more agility than Bail ever realized she possessed. Now he believed Breha when his wife complained about their daughter's recent propensity for climbing trees.

"Any word back yet from the Governor's office about getting access to the local security net?" Bail asked into his comm as he swept the crowded streets with a member of his royal guard. His eyes lingered on every they passed, hoping against hope it might be his little girl.

"No sir," a woman's voice said on the other end. "All personnel are tied up with either the festival, or Darth Vader's visit."

"Have we tried the Director of JedSec again?"

"He's out with his family and no one can seem to hail him. Sir, should we...approach ISB? It could get messy."

"Good stars," Bail growled, "I don't care who we have to sell our souls to, we need to get into those cameras_." Or better yet, put the whole moon on lockdown,_ Bail thought in his heart. "Just make it happen fast."

Leia, Leia Leia! _Where_ could she be?

"Sir!" Said the guard to his left, tapping Bail on the shoulder. The man pointed at a brunette bun bobbing through the crowd, being led by a teenager in orange. Bail burst into a sprint, reaching out as the girl turned the corner -

Bail let his arm drop. It wasn't Leia. Just a little boy in a mynock costume that looked like Leia's bun. The teen holding the kid's hand threw Bail a suspicious look, then tugged his brother closer.

Bail waited for his guard to catch up. He ignored the officer's worried look. Bail already had enough fear of his own. "It's not her. Keep searching," he said grimly.

* * *

Vader strode deeper into the Temple ruins, following the flow of the Force and the red glow of his lightsaber. He didn't believe the Guardians' dogmatic drivel, but it _was _possible that some kind of artifact overlooked by the Inquisitors who sacked the shrine was the source of the recent fluctuations. Perhaps even an artifact that could be useful.

As Vader swept down a spiral of crumbling stairs, he heard a faint sound. It was just at the edge of his damaged hearing...and yet, if Vader only listened...

Ana—

-—kin

An—kin

_Anakin_

Vader snarled. He continued to descend, ignoring the illusionary voices. At the bottom of the steps, he was confronted with a sudden scene. It was just a simple mirror, but his reflection was unsuited. Whole.

Vader turned away. He took three steps, and was again confronted with the mirror. Only in this reflection, Obi-Wan smiled back. His lips moved to form the word 'brother'.

Vader crushed the reflection with his free hand before it could complete its lie. He ripped the mirage to shreds with his rage, stripping away the ancient spell with the ease of a man tearing cobwebs.

Vader continued just like this as he walked down the hall, shredding illusion after illusion, of paths not taken and broken promises. He recognized the usual tricks of a Jedi trial and he had no patience for it. He was not a Jedi after all.

Eventually, Vader found himself in a circular chamber with a high, buttressed ceiling. Archaic wall sconces sat empty and tarnished, frail and rotted with age. His lightsaber illuminated a cracked mosaic and piles of glittering rubble.

Gold, silver, all useless to him.

Vader frowned, looking at the mural's motif. A silver spring inside a gilded nebula. Five priestesses, rendered in obsidian. The chord he'd followed in the Force sang _here_, and yet 'here' was nothing.

Vader turned to go. As he approached the corridor of trials again, a glimmer in an alcove caught his eye. Apathetic, Vader spared it a bare glance as it flickered out of view.

Vader stopped. His breath cycle malfunctioned as his throat constricted.

"Impossible," he whispered.

* * *

Leia and her new friend were loaded down with candy, laughing. They stopped to rest in a quiet spot, on a terraced plaza overlooking the city.

"This city is amazing," Leia gushed, catching her breath as she plopped to the ground. "You never see so much color on Alderaan! Everything is always so _tasteful."_ Leia made a face.

The girl in the robe tittered, gracefully sinking to the grass. "You say that like it's a bad thing. The Alderaan I remember was very beautiful."

Leia perked up in surprise. "You've been to Alderaan?"

The older girl smiled wistfully. "A few times, long ago. I had good friends there."

"Hmmm," Leia pondered. "Who were they? Maybe I know them. I could tell them you say hello."

"That's so sweet of you. You're very kind." The other girl turned her smile on Leia. Leia was dazzled. She quickly ducked her head with a blush. They both sat in silence for a moment, watching the city.

Leia frowned unconsciously. Something in the air had shifted. She quickly realized what was different - most of the crowd was gone. All of the parents and their kids had melted off the street. As Leia pondered the change in energy, the festival lanterns started to go out, block by block.

"Little lothbat," said the older girl in a choked voice. "I'm so happy we could meet, just for a bit, but now I have to go."

"What!" Leia yelped. She turned to look at her friend. "But I'm not ready."

The girl shook her head in the dark. "Me either. But that's not always the way things work."

Leia puffed out her cheeks. Why go? Weren't they still having fun? She never got to hang out like this with cool older girls at home.

"Leia," the older girl asked more seriously. "Do you know where your father is?"

Leia didn't want to talk about that right now. "Look!" She deflected, pointing.

All across the city, candles began to light up one after one. They merged into small pairs, then into big clumps, then into a whole flood. It was a strange but lovely procession, a tide and a vigil, as men and women in rough-hewn cloaks swept through the streets.

"Wow," Leia breathed in wonder. The very stones hummed with a kind of unity, solemn and peaceful. "Isn't it amazing?"

When Leia didn't get a response, she glanced to her side. The older girl was gone. Leia was alone.

* * *

Vader had lost track of time and space, following a ghost. She hovered at the edge of his perception, turning a corner here, a flick of glowing hem there. But he could sense her. _He could sense her_! His heartbeat stuttered against his pacemaker and his breath faltered out of synch with his respirator. The Guardian's words rang in his ears. Thinning, veil. Past, present. Living, dead.

Padmé... Padmé Padmé!

It couldn't be possible, and yet it had to be. His eyes, his soul, the flow of the Force. One chord had become a symphony. Every sense at his command told him that she was just up ahead. He must have long left the Temple labyrinth, taken a turn into somewhere else, because now he saw light in front of him, proper street light. He hacked down the grate in his way and emerged into an alley to find...

A little girl.

Nothing, no Padmé. Just a little girl, sitting dejected on the curb under a streetlight. She looked up at him with wide eyes, tear-streaked, startled and terrified by his sudden appearance and his humming blood-red lightsaber.

Vader's brain caught up to himself. He deactivated his lightsaber.

"You're the Organa brat," he said, flat. He had never met Organa's chit, but he'd seen enough holos. Tottering along at her treasonous father's side, smiling for the holos in some new fake act of charity.

The girl's lip wobbled, then stiffened. "Lord Vader," the commanded imperiously. "It is good that you are here. I have been separated from my father's Senatorial mission and require your assistance to return me to the Alderaanian consulate."

Vader was taken aback. He was half tempted to turn around and go back into the tunnels. This youngling was either bold, or terminally stupid.

Leia's lip quivered again. "Please?"

Vader realized, of course, what a fool _he'd_ been. What mystical veil? What secrets of the Living Force? He had clearly just let the lies of the Light delude him. _Humiliatingly_. The Temple led him by the nose in circles, just another sadistic Jedi trial. Padmé was gone. There was nothing left. The dead did not come back.

Vader ignored the echo of melancholy in that last thought. Frustrated, he holstered his saber and started walking out of the alley without a word.

Leia Organa stumbled to her feet, running to follow.

* * *

Leia was curious about the giant in black. Papa told her to never ever _ever _go near, let alone speak to Lord Vader or _really bad things_ would happen.

She'd been following him for a few minutes now, though, and wasn't dead yet. She was maybe even a little glad he showed up. After the candle parade, the city became very dark. Leia couldn't find any adults anywhere, and it was scary. There were rats, and sandpossums, and creatures Leia didn't recognize picking through the trash. Jedha wasn't so pretty without the festival lights.

A sudden rustle in a dented gutter spooked Leia, and she reflexively grabbed Lord Vader's hand.

* * *

Something entered his hand. Vader looked down. The Organa brat's tear-stained face was set grimly ahead as she clung to one of his leather-gloved fingers. The girl was clearly putting up a front.

Vader's mind was curiously blank, looking at the little fist entwined in his own. Idly, he wondered how she came to be wearing such a ridiculous dress. He didn't remember bat ears being part of any native Alderaanian headdress.

A second loud noise clattered, as something metallic toppled over in another alley. Leia's grip on Vader's finger tightened.

Vader decided to just ignore it. He'd been heading back to the mine site, figuring Bail could come retrieve his whelp if she somehow managed to keep up. Now his footsteps shifted in a silent detour.

* * *

Bail was getting more worn out, and more panicked. The festival was over, and Leia was still lost. No one had reported seeing her. The city surveillance net — which Bail made quite a few promises he _knew_ he'd regret in order to access - proved useless.

His mind had moved on to replaying fantasies of worst-case despair. What if Leia was hurt? What if she'd been kidnapped? She could be dead, or worse.

Bail tried to slap some coherence back into his thoughts. What could 'worse' even mean? What had he been thinking, leaving Leia alone for even a minute on a foreign moon? Stars, how would Bail ever face Padmé in the afterlife?

"Papa!" Bail heard a shout behind him, breaking him from his doomsday rambling.

Bail's heart soared. His little girl! He turned ecstatically to see —

Vader, all in black, emerging from the darkness like a nightmare, holding Leia's hand. Bail's soul froze.

"Papa!" Leia yelled again, breaking the spell. She dropped Vader's massive fist and launched herself at Bail. Bail scooped the child into his arms and lifted her.

"Leia, Leia!" He cried, peppering her with kisses. "Oh precious, I was so worried."

"Papa, papa. I was scared." Leia babbled. She buried her face in Bail's neck. "Papa, I'm so sorry."

"Shh, hush precious," Bail calmed her. "It's okay." Bail suddenly remembered that was still standing in front of Darth Vader. He looked over Leia's shoulder at the armored man.

"Senator." Vader greeted coldly.

"Lord Vader," Bail greeted back. He managed to grind out an appropriate platitude. "You have my...you have my thanks."

Bail didn't need the Force to read the smirk under Vader's helmet. The virtuous Senator Organa, forced to pay the Emperor's attack dog a compliment?

"Take more care with the things you call precious." Vader snarked. "Lest you find them _misplaced_."

The two men fell into a stare-off. The tension crackled palpably.

"Hmph." Leia snorted sleepily. She turned her head to face Lord Vader. "Thank you Lord Vader," she said sweetly. She then undercut her perfect diplomacy with a yawn.

"...Princess." Vader acknowledged with a short nod. After another beat, he turned and faded into the night. His drifting cape swirled after him.

"That's rude." Leia observed. "He didn't say goodbye."

Bail couldn't help it. He barked a short laugh. All the tension seemed to melt from his body. Suddenly he was exhausted again. He set Leia down on her feet gently.

_Stars, but the girl has gotten _big. Bail noted.

Bail took Leia by the shoulders and scolded her sternly. "How could you run off like that, Leia? Don't you know how scared we were? Terrified knowing you were wandering about in a foreign system? You made the whole consulate go out looking for you."

"Sorry Papa." Leia said contritely, scuffing a toe. "I was wrong."

"Good," Bail said. "We will discuss this later with your mama. You're too young to be out alone."

Leia looked up. "But I wasn't alone, papa. I was with Padmé the whole time."

Bail paused. "...Padmé?"

Leia grinned, and Bail felt his skin prickle ominously.

"Padmé Amidala." Leia said. "You know, from mama's stories?"

Bail stilled. "Oh I know. But precious…"

"Urgh!" Leia rolled her eyes. "Of course I know it wasn't the _real_ Padmé Amidala. It was just a girl I met in a Padmé Amidala _costume. _But papa, she was so cool!"

Bail forced a smile. "That's really wonderful dearheart." He stood quickly and took Leia's hand. "Why don't we get inside. You can tell me all about her on the way home."

"Mm!" Leia agreed.

As they started walking back to the consulate, Leia turned to Bail. "Papa, can I move to Naboo and be a handmaiden?"

"Now why would you want to do that, precious? You're already a princess."

"But the handmaidens are so strong Papa! And the Naboo _elect_ their queens. Did you know that? Huh, Papa?"

"I did know that. And I was elected too," Bail defended, a little put out. "I was elected Senator."

"Yeah, but you're not as cool Papa." Leia dismissed blithely. "Even though I love you."

Bail sighed. It was good to have his daughter back.

* * *

**Happy Halloween~**

Looks like I'm going to expand this into a one-shot collection, with Stella Bellum as a multi-part through line. Shoutout to the SW Writers discord, for giving me too many plot bunnies. Anyway, whether you read this in October or another month, go be spooky and eat some candy. And if anyone questions you, tell them it's the will of the Force :D


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